COCLICO & Montessori
How it all began
It all started with a conversation with my new work colleague when we talked about everything possible in my first week of my first job after university. About our world views, our origins, our attitude to life. I was 24 years old at the time. At some point, my new colleague asked me: “Elise, what if the norm is not the norm at all. That what society pretends to be “normal” does not have to be. What if we could define our own norm?”
So we talked about our childhood, our upbringings and plans when we become mothers. For the first time I heard the term Montessori education.
Above all, our conversation was about the following questions: And what if we change the perspective and observe the child from a different angle? What if we are ready to give up the prejudices and perceive the child as he is?
Conscious parenting, positive parenting, attachment-oriented, Montessori, Waldorf… all these are not just concepts, there are values, attitudes and philosophies behind them. Values in which I find myself, sometimes long for them and realize for myself that I am “not ready yet” (this is, for example, my inner critic who comes ???? into conversation with me)
If we deal with this, I would argue that each of us finds “his/her” ideal definition of parenthood and parents. Again, what if we could define our own norm? Regardless of the views and judgments of others, especially our own family, who – from their own experience and certainly benevolently – have “drummed in” us with this norm – at least a part of it.
And so I found my own definition of parenthood. Why another term? Simply because I find myself 100% in it: Sustainable Parenting
Let me go into both terms:
What does sustainability have to do with parenthood? According to Duden, sustainable means “having a strong impact over a longer period of time”. Sustainability is synonymous with a careful and conscious use of our resources, our environment. And what about our relationships with each other? That’s what I want too, a lasting relationship with my children: mindfully, consciously and at eye level. Because not only when the children are small, but as teenagers and adults, I want a “long-term” relationship based on mutual trust.
Is parenting simply to be understood as education? Not exactly. As a Frenchwoman, I find it difficult to educate from the verb “to pull”. In German the word “Erziehung” = education and “Ziehen” = to pull. I do not “pull” my children, but as parents I accompany them. As Maria Montessori put it in a nutshell:
“Children are guests who ask for directions”. And so, hand in hand, I accompany them on their way.
As an impulse for you and as an exchange among each other: what is important to you, in parenthood, your parental role, at home and in the society? Have you already thought about the “norm” and whether there is another definition for you? Your definition. ☺️
P.S.: this is just the beginning of my journaling 😉